Maria VonTrap in the “Sound of Music” starts the song “Do Re Me” with the line:
“Let’s start at the very beginning — a very good place to start.
It is as good a place as any, I guess.
I’m Anne.
I was born in California and spent the first 7 years of my life there. Then for my formative years through high school, I lived in the suburbs of Chicago, IL. Those suburbs started out somewhat rural when we moved in, but over time (as they tend to do) morphed into bustling upper-middle-class suburbs.
After high school, my parents moved to Southern California to be close to my mom’s family and I went to college at California State University, Chico (in Northern California). I started out as an Art Education major, then switched over to Graphic Design — but I quickly realized that my style/quality of graphic design deliverables would not pass a portfolio review for me to be able to graduate.
While taking my general education classes required to graduate, I stumbled upon a class I figured would be a drag - Business Law 101. Sounded boring, if I’m being honest, but into one’s college schedule some boring classes must fall, so I took the class… and I freakin’ loved it. I loved the order of it — that if you knew the “equation” of the law, you could be on the right side of it. I specifically loved housing law.
After completing that class, I nervously flipped my major over to Political Science - Pre Law, with a Paralegal Certificate. I say “nervously” because it felt a bit scary stepping into something that I had so little experience with (as most people do when they start something new). But — it was such a great fit for me.
I took classes in Women and the Law and Women in Politics (note to self — DO NOT TAKE THOSE CLASSES IN THE SAME SEMESTER, it is too damn depressing). I learned about glass-ceiling-breaking women like RBG, but I also learned that the laws in the US were initially designed to hold women back as the property of their fathers or husbands and to restrict them from leaving abusive relationships. I also took women and gender studies classes where I learned about my own body, and also about intersectional feminism — that it wasn’t enough to stand up for women, that we needed to stand up for all people, especially those who have deep, overlapping layers of oppression and cultural/social/systemic trauma.
I signed up for an internship at the Community Legal Information Center and decided that the Housing Law Department sounded like something I could really get into. During my college years, I was living in rented apartments, so it was an added bonus to learn more about my rights as a tenant. People from all over the country would call us — the phone would ring and I was terrified to answer it. I didn’t know what they were going to ask, and I didn’t know if I would have the answers or even be able to find the answers with research. But the key with this paralegal internship was that I didn’t need to know the answers yet, I just needed to answer the phone and be polite. I needed to get their name and return phone number and take down their situation in some notes so that I could research the answer and call them back. As non-lawers we were EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN from giving out legal advice — so we would make sure to give only legal information. People would call and ask what recourse they had when their apartment had flooded, or the stove didn’t work, or the landlord refused to give back their deposit even though they had left their apartment squeaky clean and in perfect condition. We’d look up the statute, based on the state, and then provide them with the info on the specific rights they had in that situation.
It was a confidence-building exercise for me, to be sure. I hated talking to people on the phone, especially in any sort of professional situation. This was forced discomfort every day of my internship. I’d sit at the desk in the office, often alongside another intern and the phone would ring and we’d look at each other and then one of us would hesitantly pick up the phone and talk to the caller and take down their request. Over time answering the phone got to be less of a scary task, as I realized I didn’t have to have the answers — I just needed to have empathy and compassion for the caller and attempt to take as accurate of notes as possible so our team could respond with a helpful answer.
After a bit of that, I had to dig into the even more uncomfortable part — returning the calls with answers. We had lists and lists of call-backs to make and answers to give that we had researched as a team. I did it and hated every minute of it… at the beginning. Once I got used to it though, it was kind of invigorating. I was calling someone I didn’t know, and I was helping them understand their rights and responsibilities in a situation they were struggling with. Again, I wasn’t able to provide any “advice”, but I was often able to assuage their concerns and give them options for a path forward.
After two semesters as an intern in this program, I applied to be a director of the Housing Law department. This was a big deal. I had to draft up a resume and a cover letter and attend multiple interviews — the final one with the attorney professors who lead the program. Then I had to wait. The current directors and attorney professors met and deliberated about who would be given these opportunities. I waited and waited for the call. My phone rang — it was my best friend, Jill, calling from halfway across the country. I told her I was waiting for an important call and that I could just call her back later in the week. “Nope”, she said, “It is my birthday and I wanted to give you the opportunity to wish me a happy birthday.” GAH! I’m the worst. I wished her a happy birthday and told her I loved her and how grateful I was to have her as my best friend (and “I’m SO sorry for forgetting your birthday, but I’m waiting for this really important call…”). She accepted my apologies and we hung up. An hour later I got the call. I had been appointed the co-director of the Housing Law department alongside a buddy of mine in the program. This was better than being a director by myself! The Housing Law department was getting a lot of calls so we would need to find more interns than ever before, so it was nice to have a partner to share this work with.
I guess I’ll pull this first substack together by saying that doing new things can be scary. Stepping in and taking phone calls when you HATE talking to strangers on the phone can be scary, but when you realize you don’t have to have the answers, and you just need to show empathy and compassion, it gets easier over time. When is it scary to have to call strangers back with answers to their questions, it gets easier when you realize you’re helping and you have an answer to give them. When it is scary applying for a highly sought-after leadership position, it doesn’t really get easier — you just have to sit through the discomfort and do the work. And don’t forget to call your best friend on her birthday.
Over and out.
By the way, the Community Legal Information Center still exists and you can call them at (530) 898-4354 to ask for free information about your rights from the following departments:
So true! Be able to truly listen to and hear others is on of the most difficult skills. I’m working on it every day. ❤️
Wag, don’t tell me you can’t edit a comment for grammar on Substack! 😢 “Being able...”